was a very good day. Bren and I went on a great date, and I was very happy :) After stopping at his mom's for a bit, we went to Montclair to see a movie I picked out, "The Band's Visit (Bikur hatizmoret)", which was a very touching, bittersweet movie about an Egyptian police band who gets stranded in a remote Israeli village. It was really beautiful, you learn more about these people, and their interactions with the people housing them for the night, and it's just really, really good. Better for you to just see it, it's in more arty theaters like in Montclair or Red Bank.
We walked up Bloomfield Ave holding hands and found a ridiculously yummy Thai place. We talked and ate and had a lot of fun. :) We had to scrounge around for change to get out of the parking garage, but looking back, it was pretty funny. I got to play Bren music from my new favorite electronic group, The Chap, and we watched The Daily Show, and the whole night was just wonderful. I wasn't very anxious, I felt so in love, it was just, well, it was pretty perfect.
I'm so glad that we could share a night like that. We thanked each other this morning. How cute are we :)

Labels: personal

This article is very worth reading. Really forced me to look at my outlook. A couple of highlights:

"...when you're under stress you tend to react rather than respond," says Nathan, who specializes in stress. "Look at what you're telling yourself about your world and how you are interpreting it. We sometimes interpret the world as a set of 'shoulds,' 'oughts,' 'have to's,' 'musts,' 'deserves.' Those are exaggerations."

"The question is, 'What the heck is enough?' ...A couple comes in for marriage counseling, and they ask me, 'Are we happy enough?' Somebody's at a job they like, but are they successful enough? People have to make that choice."

Wow. :P Made me think, that's for sure.

Labels: personal

I forgot how much I love spring. This morning was fairly sunny and was warm enough, with a bracing wind. I walked up Pine St. instead of 510 today, and saw some random stuff I hadn't seen before - pretty colonials turned into 2/3 family homes, random cutesy shops, that sort of things. Lots of little wrens (?) chirping - it's warm enough for them to come back to Morristown! And it was very nice walking through town before the stores open. Very quiet and calm. I think I'll start taking that route. There's something rather comforting about all the people still asleep, if that makes sense.

(Random creepy sidenote: On Friday, the M&E westbound to Dover, probably the 5:04, actually hit someone on the westbound Morristown tracks, who died in the hospital. I very often take that train, but I had therapy that day, and so I drove to work. Jeez.)

This weekend wasn't bad, certainly, I had some fun. It was very very chill, lots of watching things, in the house mainly. I didn't sleep too well, but that's ok. We watched all this Justice Leagueish stuff, including the new "Justice League: New Frontier" which is probably the best superhero movie ever made (yes, better than Batman Begins and the first Spiderman), we beat Mario 64 and Pokemon Snap :), watched the Matrix Revolutions Rifftrax, I showed Bren a Fairly Oddparents movie, etcetc. We were supposed to go to Montclair but bad drivers and a freak snowstorm told me that we probably shouldn't be doing. I felt rather anxious this weekend, but not about much in particular, as I learned, and I pushed through. I would have liked to do something more yesterday, but at least I got out for a bit, went to Tony and Vinnie's. I got to talk to Lindsay too. Plus I found a great site.

I see that what I am anxious about, the core of this whole thing, is choice. Making choices and accepting choices and actually working towards those choices. Purpose, and that sort of thing. What do I want to do with this life? There are many things, important things, that I didn't really think about - say, children and family, where I want to live, what actual career I want beyond a pipe dream - and I'm at a point in my life where I simply must decide. It's the idea that your dreams and wants and choices take work and aren't easy, nothing worthwhile is easy, that old cliche. If I really want to compose, I need to work. If I want a great relationship, I have to work at putting my heart into it. It's about the fear of commitment, the fear of being wrong. I suppose being an adult means pushing through the fear and doing something, whatever it is, living in that moment. There are steps I can take to doing this, I could meditate (probably will go to Empty Bowl), writing exercises, that sort of thing. Suppose it's time to start.

Labels: personal