Leaving for Chicago

Leaving for Chicago this morning for the NAGW Conference. I'll be gone for a week (crazy huh?), and while I'm there I'll learn about a bunch of stuff, lead off a panel (scary), and go to a spa. I should also be going to the city itself and hopefully seeing Ashley, who I haven't seen in two years!

I had fun at the Giants game, though it was crazy as hell getting there. I took a train to the city (didn't know I could just go to Secaucus), got tickets for the bus, went back to Secaucus, took a crazy bus ride to the stadium, and met up with Dad right before the opening ceremony, which featured Strahan and the Lombardi trophy, and 80,000 screaming fans. Nice. Plus we won, which was an added bonus. A winning home game? Bullshit.

Two nights go there was a pool party at Chrissy's house (they have a pool and a Jacuzzi). We (with Wise) were the first ones there, but soon it filled up to...15 people? Something like that? It was pretty fun, Liz and I got to catch up which was nice, and I got to sit in the hot tub for awhile which felt very good. Also, Chrissy admitted she used to have a crush on Bren so cute.

Gotta bring up some psychological stuff, don't mean to in this blog but you know. So as you read, I've been doing very well. At the party though, I started to compare myself and Bren to others, as I often do, and this never has good consequences. I started comparing my successes to others', Bren's general suaveness to other guys', even like, how I looked in a bikini. This was also triggered because everyone in the universe contacted me that day and asked how I was doing, and I was doing great, so I responded that way, except whenever I have to flat out say my status, I tend to question it and sabotage myself. So in any case, I started feeling anxious again, which continued through the next day. My mind kept wandering and thinking about other people, and because of this I felt really guilty, then I felt cross and angry. Only halfway into dinner last night (it was Katie's birthday) was I starting to get over it, I got kind of small and relied on Bren to help me get through.

But it was a LOT better than last time. Tons better. And I'm not so anxious right now, more for the trip than anything else. So here I go...

Labels: personal